Sunday, 29 April 2018

Living With A Husband Hard Of Hearing

By Henry Hughes


Couples often look forward to the Golden Years, when money and leisure will be more plentiful and responsibilities less. However, having a husband hard of hearing can ruin the program if both partners aren't informed of the possibility of such impairment and of the challenges it may present. About half of senior marriages will encounter this problem.

He comes home from a hard day and there's his wife, with dinner almost ready and a pleasant smile. He settles in for his favorite program, cranks up the volume a little (the set is getting old and the sound is not as clear as it once was), and relaxes. Suddenly there is his wife, looking cross and shouting - shouting - that dinner is ready. He doesn't realize that this is the third time she's said this and that she's shouting to be heard over the blaring TV.

Another problem, and one not so easily solved, is that what goes first for many men is high-pitched sounds. This means they have difficulty hearing their wives, daughters, and grandchildren speak. A wife may lose the ability to converse happily in the car, to talk from another room, or to have boisterous family gatherings with everyone milling around together. Fathers become increasingly shut out of general conversations.

Husbands also may react badly to being shouted at, which a lot of wives find themselves doing. It's hard to sound dulcet and winsome at the top of your voice, and shouting also may cause a more severe expression than you intend. Counselors familiar with this conflict suggest looking directly at your man and speaking slowly and clearly rather than at very loud volume. This, unfortunately, requires more effort, and many women, experiencing the fatigue that often accompanies the 'golden years', may resent this.

Hopefully both partners want to avoid letting a physical problem derail a happy union. The husband may have to steel himself to getting hearing aids - never as good as natural sound - and having them adjusted until they work well. The wife will have to remember not to talk from the other room, to allow for background noise, and to keep a pleasant expression on her face even as she repeats herself.

Many couples opt for extreme measures, like surgery. Implants used to be mainly for children but now are not unusual for seniors. Active men want to hear their wives, daughters, and grandkids. They don't want to miss sermons at church, phone conversations, or the general babble at family gatherings.

Getting informed before the problem exists or becomes severe may make it easier to handle. Experts say that being blind is less isolating than being deaf. Any circulation problems, such as those caused by high blood pressure, diabetes, or heart disease, can affect the ears. It's important to learn how to protect your ears and what can be done to keep your ability to hear longer.

There are specialists, clinics, and professional hearing aid technicians to help people cope with hearing problems. Men are especially prone to this condition, since many professions harm the inner ear. Carpenters, plumbers, miners, farmers, factory workers, musicians, and those in the military are often exposed to unsafe noise levels. Wives can help their husbands enjoy normal human interactions longer if they react proactively to this common problem.




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