Wednesday, 21 August 2013

PayPal Goof Makes Man $92 Quadrillionaire, No Big Deal

By Riley Freeman


Routinely getting banking errors is very frustrating and ends up in hours of handling androids, followed by hours of dealing like folks acting like bots , but for one man Chris Reynolds, he was temporarily the riches person in the world. A PayPal error left him with a little over $92 Quadrillion bucks. Just to be exact he had $92,233,720,368,547,800. Do you actually know what I would do with $92 quadrillion greenbacks?

With $92 quadrillion bucks I'd scoff and throw cash in rich peoples faces. With $92 quadrillion bucks I would convert become called the George Washington Carver of $100 buck bills. Change it into fuel, burn it for warmth, wear it as a coat to shield from the cold, you say it. With $92 quadrillion bucks I might build everything I own out of money. My place, my vehicle, my cloths, my food. With $92 quadrillion dollars I might literally Scrooge McDuck and swim in my money.

Reynold's, however was not a fast thinking, dashingly good looking man as myself. Before he became the riches man in the world he was selling car components on eBay part-time. He only had $140 in his account. PayPal sends monthly account statements and the $92 quadrillion dollar gaff he though was a debt. Instead of immediately crapping his pants and crying bankruptcy in the streets. He probably did what any other average homo sapien would do in his position. Post it on Facebook. Here's where a "long lost buddy" spotted that it was not a debt, but a credit to his account.

When he tried to log into his account to verify his friends claims, he realized that he was left among the lowest ranking poor people in the world again with a $0 balance. Thanks PayPal. PayPal soon after approached him and noted the huge mistake and said that they would give a unspecified amount of cash to a reason for Reynold's choice Instead of restoring his $140 that is. Yup you can give that to the charity of Give Me My Friggin' Money Back.

Reynold's stated that the most he has ever had in his account before that was $1,000 from selling vintage BMW tires. Naturally the press asked him what would he have done with the $92 quadrillion bucks. He stated that he would clear the US natural debt, perhaps buy the Philadelphia Phillies, and invest in some things. The paradox of this man's plans are beyond my comprehension. Let's do a fast hypothetical research of his plans.

Reynold's would withdrawal this money and pay off the US nationwide debt, which would be like spitting into the sea for him. Just in that act alone he has committed a few felonies like grand larceny, computer misuse, attempted hacking, PC crime, let alone the incontrovertible fact it is online automatically makes all his crimes Fed. Just the charge of grand burglary larceny would land him a computed 31,625,000,000 years. (Based off one or two cases online where on average for stealing $1 million greenbacks they received around 3 and a half years in jail) That is just with one charge! They'll be locking up his bloodline forever. If the governing body let's him survive to see the rest of his wishes with his money, it would all be in vein proving the misconception in his unsophisticated perspectives. Buying a sports team, cool concept. No flaws in you are pretty much infinitely rich. You do it as you love the team. Investing money in things Is this dude high There is not any investing when you have 126,547 times the quantity of money that Bill Gates has. There's only buying. Next, if you thought folks coming out the wood work for lotto winnings was bad, this dude would be off the charts. Folk get murdered for lottery loot everyday , the difference is this man has the money to tell those theft peasants to kick rocks. Let alone he could hire a states army to personally protect him.

So in summation, Reynold's repays the US Countrywide Debt, buys his favourite sports team, squanders irrelevant billions in frivolous investments, learns a lesson about long lost pals attempting to make contact again after striking it big means they're gold digging, and finally gets tossed in jail by a thankful US, which should finally pinch all his cash.

All that cash is literally paid to have a jail built and named after you since you'll be living in one for the remainder of your life/reincarnations. In which each reiteration of you would be getting cosy with each generation of Bubba in your endless jail cell.




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